Barbel poem...

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Barbel poem...

Post by Pickerel » Tue Jul 16, 2019 5:00 pm

Please forgive both my attempt at humour, and whether or not the verses 'scan' properly...... :whistle:

I am not a Barbel angler
They are not a fish I’ve caught
But as they are so popular
Best have a go, I thought

I’ve seen some tackle in the shops
Including special rods
They are the ones you have to have
Just sitting on their pods

Because the currents can be strong
‘Floodwater’ rods you need
For casting out big lumps of lead
And fishing in the weed

Braided lines and camou leads
So the barbel cannot see
Your tackle in the water
That is clear as Army tea

The are some barbel anglers
Who are beardy-weirdy types
Split cane and moleskin trousers
Drink tea and suck on pipes

But most are much more modern
Their gear all bright and shiny
The biggest, hardest, everything
Is that ‘cos their tackle’s tiny?

No, barbel anglers are real men
Of that there is no doubt
Should you dare to question it
They’ll be round to sort you out

They have their own police force
That’s a comfort, you might think
But defy strict regulations
And they’ll tip you in the drink

To be a weekly winner
In that angling ‘Hall of Fame’
You need an eighteen-pounder
To fill the picture frame

The only way to get this
Is behind that padlocked gate
The one that says ‘No Fishing –
This is a private Syndicate’

Put your name upon the waiting list
Of an exclusive barbel swim
If you know a funny handshake
There’s more chance you’ll get in

When you do get on the water
Then halibut’s the bait
Old Boris likes free samples
So heave in a hundredweight

Although the river’s flooded
No rain has caused the spate
It’s the twenty anglers upstream
Who’ve started to pre-bait

Then maybe if you catch a fish
Best hope it’s not a ‘double’
‘Cos if you tell just where it was
You’ll really be in trouble

A red nose and big trousers
Will make you feel a clown
Let slip your capture’s venue
And the circus comes to town

Should I die a barbel virgin
And meet St Peter at the Gate
Will he say ‘No, I don’t think so –
You ain’t caught a barbel mate.....!

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Old Man River
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Location: Yorkshire

Re: Barbel poem...

Post by Old Man River » Tue Jul 16, 2019 7:04 pm

Many a true word spoken in jest , or in this case verse.

Love it!

Hurrumph....... whatever happened to Handlines ?

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Arctic Char
Posts: 1873
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2016 2:04 pm
Location: North Norfolk

Re: Barbel poem...

Post by Pallenpool » Tue Jul 16, 2019 8:59 pm

An apt line or two there Pickerel - I enjoyed that.
You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.

- - - - - - - - - - - -
Friedrich Nietzsche

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Dave Burr
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Joined: Fri Jul 20, 2012 7:03 pm
Location: Not far from the Wye

Re: Barbel poem...

Post by Dave Burr » Wed Jul 17, 2019 8:41 am

You've summed up the modern barbel scene very well. Humorous but a bit sad too. Nice one.

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Re: Barbel poem...

Post by Fredline » Wed Jul 17, 2019 9:20 am

Sad but true. Great.
If you have no grease with you, and your rings are full of ice, do not cut out the ice with a pen-knife but get your man to put the rings one by one in his mouth, and so to thaw the ice.
John Bickerdyke.

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